extravagent dream description

[machinery]

It was you starlight-stunned beauty, with your majestic drapery of blond hair, running exactly down your cheeks, tucked behind your red-tipped ears -- your face blouchy from the cold night we were in. Your eyes were sof t all night, surrounded by the black that you put on...I barely got to stare at those - at you, through you -- being that you looked straight forward. Seemed nervous - you - cold edged nose, sniffing and twitching with your occasional movement in the chair. Fascinating red were your lips -- your teeth tugging on the exterior and I could hear those whites pulling against your dry skin kisser.

--My hands were jitter-filled in my pockets - because of your ways - of your manners, I became excited. Speechless in my seat -- and my body wanting to speak! to rejoice and reach out towards you! -- Oh girl, next to me, tight jeans across your thighs, the cross your legs make -- the long sleeved black shirt - you dressed - tight against your chest and shoulder bones. My fingers dance amongst my keys - inside my pocket -- (behind my knees, under my socks, and through my under shirt, I began to sweat) -- Inside, I was singing for you.
--((But in my exterior, how could I move, how could I be mobile with the powers you put on me -- oh wonderful saint woman, my actions freeze and I am only a foot away, if only I could talk, if only I could turn to you, smile, and dive into the unknown...))--

--My hand made the move, sitting awkwardly, adbruptly - on the arm rest - No, my fingers didn't tap, but on that wood, under my nails, my skin turned colors from the grasp. Now nervous - I - sit in my anxious. --
You began to bite your lip, slower and deeper (than before) as if you were flagging me in, playing with my... -- your weight shifted in your chair - legs now crossed the other and closer to me you became - A smile arose on my face...

[machinery]

a simple dream, turned story from imagination

[Hannibal]

Nice. Good, Cool, great work. It just started out real solid, and continued that way all the way though. Great imagery, I could imagine it just so, I could almost feel the emotion, the nervousness, the sweating. Really brought me there, with my own image of somethign great before me, a female of my minds eye. The ending was great, a nice hanging ending, yet, enough to get us going in a direction.
Speachless in my seat --- and my body wanting to speak! That line was awesome, i dont know why, but it caught me for some reason, i just REALLY like it.
I thought this was an all around solid poem, *claps* good job. I would like to see more.

[parch]

spontaneous prose...it seems to fit.
great poem.
you fell into something here and i'd be happy if you dug in deeper cause you can really do this.
i love this
love it

___---parch

[machinery]

what did I fall into that I can really do?

why do you love it? what is it that catches ya parch?

[parch]

it seemed that you fell into "spontaneous prose" just by accident. or did you mean to write in this fashion. the reason i say you fell into it is cause i saw you as just writing a poem "a simple dream turned story from imagination" but it seemed to fit the "essentials for spontaneous prose"...which is a list of stuff i have off something to do w/ Kerouac. there was this site i found where it had Jack's description of "the essesntials of spontaneous prose" and i have it printed out. of course.. now i realize that only the author can really determine if they have sat down in these guidelines because the way they are written only the author would know...like if you went back and corrected or just how you actually wrote the poem...
i'm not sure if this is really making sense.
i just think what you did was good.
and i think that you should do it again.
but its not how you write a lot and its not how you seem to have written lately..so i remarked that you "fell in it"

the one key thing you did do which i now see as obvious was your use of dashed lines -- - - and how they add to the poem.
this is actually listed in the essentials of spontaneous prose.
in all reality spontaneous prose should be written however an author feels they should write it but i'm just comparing this with how jack k has written.

___---parch